hidden_jedi: (dark side)
I didn't say good-bye.

I suppose I should have. But I know if I did, I wouldn't have been able to leave. Seeing his face. Seeing my face, the hurt in it. I could never leave.

I'm fairly sure I'll be okay.

And if not... well. I'm not.

But I've been a bit too many people lately, and I need to sort myself out. Or maybe just try and mesh personalities better. See who I turn out to be.

For better or for worse.
hidden_jedi: (twins)
Trever was Kale and Kale was Trever and this was a truth that the both of them knew. It was a Truth even, with a capital T much like the Force existed they knew that they were One and not Two and that being Two was wrong. Tobias tried to comfort Kale telling him that he could be his own One and not a One with Trever. That he could be his own person. But Tobias didn't understand. He hadn't known what it was like being One and he didn't know how it felt to be Two instead of One. He never had another half. And he didn't know how to explain that there was only One soul between the Two of them. And souls were not meant to be broken in two. They really were one person. Perhaps they weren't meant to be twins at all, but one child who got broken in two. They didn't know. But they didn't talk about it even though they knew the other thought the same thing. For they were a balance. One light and one dark. Trever knew that he could never send Kale completely to the Dark Side just as Kale knew he could never bring Trever completely to the Light Side. But it didn't bother them at all, because that was how it was supposed to be.

Perhaps, yes, it was unnatural, as Revan had constantly told them. But it wasn't their fault, it was just the way they were and they couldn't help it at all. They wished they could tell someone find the words to explain it. But they could only say it with Ones and Twos. They were afraid to mention souls. They didn't know how the others would react. So they just pretended that they were Two as they tried to be One. But couldn't. Kale had been cut off so completely that they could never be whole again. They were just two halves of the one soul staring at each other across the gulf never to be able to connect again.

Forever broken.
hidden_jedi: (dreamy)
"You realize," Kale said as he laid on Trever's bed, "If dad's alive, he's going to ground us to the next millennium."

Trever snorted, looking up from the book he was reading. Sitting on a chair he had his bare feet up on the bed. "We're twenty one. A bit old for grounding."

"You actually think that'll stop him?" Kale looked at his twin eyebrows raised.

"Point." Trever admitted. "How's Tobias?"

"He's okay. Resting."

"Why aren't you with him?"

He shrugged, "Wanted to be alone for a bit." Trever didn't ask, 'then why are you here?' because he knew that the two of them together still constituted being alone. Even with their bond shattered and Kale a hole in the Force the two of them still had trouble with thinking of themselves as individuals. They were getting better at it, but it would take a long time before they thought of themselves as two instead of one. "Do you think he's alive?"

"I don't know," Trever said quietly. "He'll be so... disappointed."

"Yeah. We really fucked up."

"Big time."

"It'd be nice, I think,, if he was alive."

"Mom'll be pissed for making her worry."

"I wonder what she's up to. Her and Naldin."

Trever looked at Kale curiously, "You mean you haven't talked to her recently?"

"No. Not since I left."

"She's gonna ground us too."

"... Yeah. We're fucked."

"Not going to be allowed out of the house until we're fifty."

"If we're lucky."
hidden_jedi: (Angry)
The twins sat near each other, once again working on that droid. While their communication before had been flawless, now it was disjointed. Trever would hold his hand out for something and Kale wouldn't realize it. And they had to speak to each other to get their brother's attention. At one point, Trever looked over to see what Kale was doing and frowned.

"You're doing it wrong," he said.

Kale looked up at him, "No I'm not."

"Yes you are, here, look," he said leaning over with a tool in his hand.

"What are you doing! Hey!" Kale slapped his hand away. "I've been working on that all afternoon!"

"And you're doing it wrong."

"I am not!"

"Yes you are!"

They scrabbled a bit before the droid got kicked away, spinning and smashing into the wall. The two of them looked at the other before saying, "Now look at what you did!"

"Me? You did it!"

"I wouldn't have done it if you hadn't stuck your nose in what I was doing!"

"You were doing it wrong! I'm not the one whose going to screw up the damn droid because you don't know what you're doing."

"I know perfectly well what I'm doing. You're the Kiffing idiot who doesn't know the right end of a spanner to use."

"Me? I'm not the one who shorted out the droid's power converter last week!"

"At least I didn't put the leg joint on backwards!"

The two of them glowered at each other. Trever threw down the screwdriver he held. "You know what? Fuck this. Fuck you and fuck Tobias and his I'm so wonderful and helpful. I'm sick of it. I'm leaving."

"Fine. Leave! See if I care. Why don't you go back to your damn Sith masters and slaughter innocent people for fun."

"At least my masters never took the ability away from me," Trever said coldly.

Kale threw a part at his brother's head. "Get OUT! Get OUT! Go ahead runaway again!"

Trever, flushed as red as his hair and knocked the part away with the Force and stomped out of the room, leaving Kale alone to stare at the mess they had made.

"Fucking idiot."

Diferences

Nov. 13th, 2007 01:06 pm
hidden_jedi: (Light and dark)
In one of those weird knowing what the other is thinking moments -even though they weren't Force Bonded as strongly any more, if anything they were just barely aware of the others presence- they decided to try to be different from the other. It was perhaps mutual consent without conferring with the other.

Both of them found it strange and something they had to consciously make the effort to do. Trever took the initiative by getting his hair cut so it didn't flop all over the place and shaved his goatee. Kale did not. Though he almost did. It felt strange looking at Trever; they were no longer mirror images.

Kale put away his lightsaber, he didn't even wear it. That had been hard. But he did it because as he was, he couldn't be a Jedi any more. It was symbolic, really. He knew he could still use it. He didn't need the Force to use a weapon, but it didn't feel right for him to do so. Jedi used them, not... whatever he was. Practically dead to the Force. Trever had been upset when he did so, but didn't say anything about it.

Trever moved into another bedroom. It was sort of saying that the two of them had "broke up" and weren't going to be sleeping with each other anymore. Kale stayed with Tobias, still afraid to be alone. Trever became moody at this, but didn't try to intervene or take Kale away.

They still wore similar clothes, but not identical, and different outfits. They agreed that it would be silly to ditch the clothes they had when they were still good and fit.

Trever wondered if he could continue his training. Kale wondered what he should do with himself. Breaking and entering really wasn't a good career path.

On a whim -which had been strange - Kale got his ear pierced. Trever had stared at that one and then laughed. Kale promptly tackled him and for a moment it had been like old times.

Stopping only after Trever had given Kale a black eye, they rested against each other, back to back.

"Actually," Trever said, "It doesn't look that bad at all."

"It hurt," Kale said, gingerly touching his eye.

"Which is why I'm not getting one."
hidden_jedi: (Psychometry)
Moodily, Kale sat on the wing of the ship, resting his chin on his knees, arms wrapped around his legs. And, he was alone.

Trever had gone off somewhere. It was the first time since his twin had reappeared that they had been separated. Trever hadn't said where he was going and Kale couldn't get it out of him through their bond.

For the first time in a long time, he felt alone. Confused.

He tugged absently at his gloves, making sure they fit snuggly.

Perhaps this entire Jedi thing was a bad idea. He didn't seem to be cut out for it... and really... someone like him... the way he so easily picked up personalities from people he touched... how easily they swam to the surface. Sometimes he didn't know who he was. Who he wasn't.

Carcer, Revan, Axis, Tobias, Trever, his mom, dad and older brother, that trader he met once, Luke Skywalker... all sorts swimming around in his head.

He had managed to keep them under control most of the time, but lately... lately... it had been so hard.

Tugging his gloves again, he stared out into nothing.
hidden_jedi: (dreamy)
The twins lay together in a tangled mass of limbs, one resting his head on the chest of the other as they slept, the blanket twisted between them like a vine. With their shirt and pants off, it was easier to tell which twin was which. Though you wouldn't think it would be. But while they were dressed they looked virtually identical, without clothes, the scars from farm life and other things created enough differences to tell them apart.

One seemed to have more animal scars than mechanical ones. The other in reverse. On the shoulder of one, a blaster scar. Across the chest of the other, a lightsaber scar. That one was recent. Barely healed.

Perhaps Trever (for it was Trever with that scar) had gotten into trouble with his Masters over something.

Perhaps his Masters would come looking for him.
hidden_jedi: (twins)
The two of them together, Kale and Trever, once they got past the original anger at each other, were like one person. They didn't talk to each other, but clearly communication happened, with a gesture, an expression or sometimes nothing at all. The two of them sat under the Ebon Hawk, fiddling with what appeared to be the shell of a droid.

Both of them were dressed alike and with heads bent over different pieces of machinery, it was nearly impossible to tell them apart. They didn't even talk as they worked. Occasionally one would hold out a hand and the other would put a tool in it, or give a spare part, or help hold something. Their movement was fluid, never a hesitation or a wondering what the other wanted. Never a touching to get the other's attention.

Even though they were working on two separate things, they were able to know what the other wanted.
hidden_jedi: (perky)
Kale bounced up the steps from the basement intending to head to the kitchen to grab lunch like foods for him and Tobias. They had been working on Jedi like things all morning, mostly it was Kale getting his ass handed to him. But surprisingly he did a lot better than usual. He felt good and energetic. Happier than usual.

Obviously this meant sugary snacks.
hidden_jedi: (Pissed)
Obviously Kale was going to have to kill Carcer. It was the only way. He thumped down the stairs plotting murder, in search of Tobias. Really, did he have to tell Revan? And did Revan have to even bring it up? And then give him that sort of 'you need to tell Tobias' thing?

"Tobias?" he called out as he reached the bottom of the stairs.

Dream 2

May. 26th, 2007 07:10 pm
hidden_jedi: (twins)
Drunk, Kale fell onto his couch, pulling up the blanket and fell into a deep sleep.


He stood on a vast plane of glass. Above him were the stars and worlds of the galaxy. From the Inner Rim to the Outer Rim. All visible, hanging like ornaments. Looking down he saw his face reflected in the glass and darkness below it.

He knelt down to touch his reflection, as if he had never seen it before. As he touched it, the glass rippled and his hand went through it. A hand grabbed his and he pulled up.

He pulled up Trever. The two of them stared at each other for a moment, before Trever broke out into a smile.

"Kale! Where have you been?"

Kale smiled back, "Oh, here and there. You?"

"The same. You look good."

"Thanks. You do too." He paused. "I miss you."

Trever stepped up to him, closing the distance between them, so that they were just a breath away from each other. He reached up and brushed his hand across Kale's face. "Me too. When are you coming?"

"I don't know, I've gotten side tracked. I met a real Jedi!"

"No you didn't." And he shoved Kale.

"Yes, I did," Kale said, shoving back. They wrestled for a moment, Trever getting Kale in a headlock. He held him there for second and then let him go.

They grinned at each other and this time Kale touched his brother's face. Trever leaned into it. "Find me. I need you," he said before kissing Kale lightly and vanishing.



Turning over, Kale fell into a deeper sleep.
hidden_jedi: (Hrm...)
Kale dreamed of things that he had never done.

Of people he never met.

Dark dreams, filled with pain and violence. Sometimes his, sometimes someone elses. They always felt so real. Even if they did happen to someone else.

For he knew, when he woke up, that the dreams that he had were the reality for Trever.

And he knew, when Trever dreamed, he dreamed of Kale.
hidden_jedi: (Side view)
Right, so, I might as well introduce myself. Though I don't really know why, this is just my own journal and everything. Still, you never know.

My name is Kale Delvar. I was born on the rather backwards planet of Garqi on the outer rim. I have a twin brother named Trevar who's about a half an hour older than me and an older brother named Nalden. My father is dead and my mother is not. I'm twenty one years old.

Currently I'm serving aboard a stolen Imperial Guardian class light cruiser as pilot. The ship is called "the Empire's Bounty". I think the Captain was having a go at humor when he named it. Our captain is Brosk. Engineering is taken care by Keada and security is by a fourth degree droid who is a bit trigger happy called BX-79. Currently we have two passengers, Joseph and Zhin-ja. They claim to be Jedi.

Most of the time we do smuggling runs with occasional missions for the Rebels. It's for the rebels that we've picked up Joseph and Zhin-ja. They think because of that they can tell us what to do, but I'm not taking orders from some kid who's still got pimples all over his face. Brosk can tell me what to do.

I think that's it for now.

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Kale Delvar

July 2015

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